- you are proud of your bruises.
- you can't find shorts that are short enough.
- you spend more time watching women pole dance than the man in your life.
- you hear a song and immediately rate it for pole compatability.
- you have spent any amount of time trying to convince someone that pole dancing is different than stripping.
- you find that your closet is slowly (or quickly) filling up with plastic shoes with 6 inch heels and plastic boots that range in height from ankle to thigh-high and previously, the highest heel you ever wore were 1 inch sturdy shoes.
- you've cleared everything you possibly can out of your family room to make space for your pole.
- your husband gets a huge grin on his face when you say you're going to work out.
- you walk past your husband in platform heeled black boots a bra and teeny shorts and he glances at you and then goes back to whatever he was doing.
- you're looking at every stop sign, lamp post, children's playground thinking, "I wonder if I can do a invert on that?"
- your kids are so familiar with pole moves from watching you watch YouTube obsessively that they can critique you pretty well when you're practicing. "Mommy, you should keep your back straighter when you do that!"
- you have to schedule life events (weddings, balls) around poling so you won't be bruised in pictures.
- you get ceiling height envy.
- you took the furniture out of the guest room to make a pole room and your company has to sleep on the couch.
- you assess the weather each day wondering how it will affect your grip more than to see what you should wear.
- you have to explain to other people, especially doctors and anyone that sees you unclothed, why you are bruised so bad.
- people have thought you were abused from all your bruises.
- you're asked "what's new?" and the first thing that goes through your head is the move you nailed the other day.
- you start a detailed description of your last practice with non-polers, easily forgetting that they don't know what you're talking about when you say "inverting", etc.
- you get the biggest grin whenever people ask you if you work out.
- you won't buy certain shoes because you're afraid the buckles or whatever may scratch your pole.
- your husband/boyfriend doesn't bat an eye when he walks in the room and you're hanging upside down.
- you get strange looks from people when you're going through the store shopping for work-out clothes saying things like "no there won't be enough skin showing if I get that one!"
- you have a huge bookmarks/favorites list in your web browser for pole dancing.
- you dream about pole dancing and/or pole in your sleep.
- you can dance in those 6-inch clear heels, but can't walk across the room in them.
- "Peek-a-boo" is a bad word... won't even say it to a baby.
- you have to think long and hard about how to respond to the question "So, what do you do for fun?"
- you've answered the door in your pole workout clothes and made whoever was there blush.
- you know exactly, to the second, how long it takes for you to take down your pole when company is on their way over.
- your child's behavior on the fireman pole on the playground has been the reason for several parent-teacher conferences.
- your day-time shoes are falling apart but you find yourself passing up buying "real" shoes because you would rather spend your money on hot red stilettos.
- you judge every house by its flooring and ceiling height.
- your pole gets wiped clean more often than your coffee table.
- you rate couch cushions for their cushioning ability under your pole.
- you go to your hairdresser and ask to cut your hair in a way that it may floooow when you turn your head (and even demonstrate).
- you walk into a club and instantly start wondering weather their poles are steel or chrome, spinny or static.
- you stopped using lotion because it makes you too darn silky smooth - you have tricks to do!
- you just can't find mirrors big enough.
- someone asks if your heels are stripper shoes and you say "No! Those are my workout shoes!"
- you have ever replaced carpet with a hardwood floor so you could be more stable in your heels.
- you are willing to loose you security deposit on your apartment in order to keep your crappy pole up (Peek-a-boo, Flirty Girl, etc.) despite the damage it's doing to your floors and ceiling while you're waiting for a good one to be delivered, just so you can keep poling.
- you intend to go clothes shopping for work or personal and end up searching for that perfect top or shorts to pole dance in instead of regular clothes.
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